Has a basket of strawberries ever courted you so intensely – its deep red fruit promising to grant you several sweet, juicy bites of summery bliss – that you got suckered into buying it, only to return home and find that these berries weren’t quite as sweet or juicy as you had hoped? But you, being a reasonable person, gave them a few extra days to ripen and a second chance to please your palate – and even sacrificed a couple berries that ripened too soon and gave in too early to the inevitable fuzziness – only to realize that the remaining berries completely spurned you and that, even in their ripest hour, these berries apparently were just not capable of ever getting quite there.
I’ve been in that situation countless times, and you probably have too. And I bet that you, being a compassionate and charitable consumer of strawberries, wished you could do something – anything! – to help them out. But mid-April just isn’t peak season for strawberries; so what’s a sick-of-winter, ready-to-jump-into-spring strawberry enthusiast to do? Drown in booze. (more…)